Querying Insecurities

wolf-1336213_1280My husband recently got some sort of fire under his ass to put some fire under my ass to seek an agent for the novel I had previously self-published. Honestly, it made me feel some spark of hope and delight. It’s amazing what just someone believing in you can do for your confidence. And, suffering from some severe anxiety of rejection (and actual anxiety disorders) I do need someone to push me most days. I was appreciative–I am appreciative of his sudden desire to force me to write a query letter.

It’s been about a week of vague day-dreaming about getting published and now today I have realized that this isn’t quite an option. For that project. Problem number one is that it was self-published, which is generally considered “published” period. So while I felt my heart trip a little in excitement to have found that there were places where my little work might fit without an agent, my heart instantly fell as I realized I had already ruined my chances with basically everywhere by putting my work up on CreateSpace. Problem two is the length of “With Teeth.” It’s short. It’s only novella length. I’ve seen some mentions of the style as making a comeback but I’m not hopeful. I’m especially not hopeful for a supernatural YA, previously self-published novella.

I think it has a lost of potential. I think it is very marketable in the current reading climate. I think it needs an editor’s firm hand. I’m just not confident that anyone will be willing to give it a chance seeing the above obstacles.

Am I sabotaging myself? Should I write a query letter and throw it into the abyss to learn to swim on its own despite my reservations. Despite what I know/have read on the industry? Is this just my anxiety talking?

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