I see a lot of these social articles floating around about the loss of a best friend. It’s nice to know that I am not the only girl out there who has gone through this, but these articles don’t quite touch my own experience.
You see, most of these authors express a maturity in emotion. They seem to have become at peace with the state of their non existent relationship with their former best friend. It’s all very zen. Very no regrets.
And I’m over here, still so fucking angry.
Maybe these women hadn’t been best friends for fifteen years. While the quality of a relationship does not rely on time, there is something maddening about losing a person that has been around for literally half of your life.
Also, as I understand it, these women are merely drifting apart. They don’t end their relationships with fire and blood and a kick to the tits I guess.
Also I’m going to assume the person at the other end of the line did not tell her friend that she would be an unfit mother. Perhaps she didn’t also abandon her BFF when she became pregnant for the first time or when her dog died suddenly. I would think that would piss off anyone.
So I guess this is what my “letter to my former best friend” would look like:
I’m still pissed. By some miracle I don’t actually dwell on your stupid face every day, but when you do pop up in the front of my cerebral cortex, I experience blinding rage.
You have ruined countless, priceless memories. Paris? Oh yeah, that was a once in a lifetime experience only I went with someone who shoved a metaphorical blade through my gut, so no, I don’t much like to ponder on it anymore. And let’s not down play the fact that you are featured prominently in my wedding photos because you were my Maid of Honor.
I was really alone last year, depressed and scared, and I really needed my friend. So basically in conclusion, fuck you.
The Wolf of Oklahoma
Listen, I don’t suggest that you dwell on your anger. It can be really poisonous. I do, however, completely condone letting it all out in a strongly worded blog post or two. So to those of us who are still fucking angry, I raise my (wine) glass.